Everyday is a Sunday Evening

"If you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody

then you'll only find them. But I guess at some point,

maybe you should let go and give your heart what it deserves."

- One Tree Hill

So, I suppose I should say this is my last post here. I decided to start a new one because I've put so much in here. One final post to explain everything, or, almost.

So, my sister canceled her engagement with Dave. She said he didn't have ambitions and all this other stuff. It was a long discussion we had at Creative Sparks. Although, I think that I made a good point (even though I was painting a bowl while my sister was writing a lot down.) She wrote a Pro and Cons list of being with Dave. After she read me off the list here's about the way it went:

"So, is that it?" (Me)
"...He likes cats... I hate cats." (Liz)
"...You're seriously going to say 'I'm not marrying him because he likes cats'?! Nope. You're not allowed to write that down." (Me)
"Haha fine." (Liz)
"...I have a pro that you forgot." (Me)
"What's that?" (Liz)
"...You didn't write down that you love him. One of the most important pros, the one that should be the easiest to come up with, you forgot. You thought of 'he hates cats' before 'I love him.'" (Me)
"...oh... Well... what do you think it means?" (Liz)
"I dunno Liz. What do you think it means?" (Me)
"What do I do now?"(Liz)
"Well.... you take your list of pros and cons... and you think about the fact that you're going to let your future depend on a piece of paper...no a paper towel with a bunch of words on it." (Me)
"You're right... it's not really fair to Dave... is it?" (Liz)
"You need to do what will make you happy Liz. That's what you do. That's what's important." (Me)

Later she said to me, "You know... you really are a writer at heart. You can tell from the things you say." I said maybe, I just read a lot of quotes and from that what I say turns out that way. Also, it doesn't hurt to be as hopeless as I am when it comes to matters of the heart. I have these silly ideas of romance, these ideas of true love and all that and I hold on to them for dear life, hoping that everybody has somebody, that's theres more to life than what I've seen. I'm constantly being made fun of about these things... when I say happiness is what's important in life. Paul still makes fun of me and basically says that the idea that being happy in life is what's important, is idiotic. He thinks I'm really naive I believe, because I think that. Because I would rather be happy than be rich and miserable.

I don't want those things to dissapear. That's something I love about myself. My endless hope. My ideas about things. My hope that everything will always be alright in the end. The idea that love is out there and everybody is meant to find it and be happy. The idea that everyone should be happy. I don't want it to die. That's something I have that most people don't. Most people give up. Most people aren't looking for romance in life, or true love, they're just looking to get by. Looking to settle. I don't want to settle. If that makes me silly then so be it.

Lately I think that something's changed about Aaron. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it has. I'm going to keep trying to figure out what it might be though... I'll figure it out eventually.

So, I was talking to Sean the other day. He had been wondering if I wanted to hang out before he left for college, but I'd already left for my Dads. I told him we were going to hang out next time he was home. But, while we were talking he asked me what I had been up to, and I mentioned that I had hung out with Trav and I got a weird response... he asked me "Do you get the vibe sometimes that he likes you?" I was really caught off gaurd from that question. I said "Sometimes I guess... why?" He said he was just curious but, so far, from what I've gotten to know of Sean he doesn't really ask me random questions like that. Everytime he's said it was just because he was curious and he's acted the way he did when i asked why, like he was trying to make it off like he really was just curious, it's turned out my suspicions were correct. Although, I have no idea as to why he would ask me that. I can't simply ask him either, he wouldn't tell me. But, maybe I'm simply being silly.

Schools starting soon. I'm actually excited for it, although I'm going to go see my guidence counsler about switching english teachers. I hated Mrs. Tarantino. She was such a horirble teacher, she even almost kicked me out of class for some stupid reason. I do not want more problems this year and I'm going to do my best to get switched. I had a high 90 in her class but she was such a riducilous woman I cannot sit through a whole year of her class. I'll end up hating english.

So apparently I have to get homecoming and prom date approval from both Aaron and Travis. Great. I'm going to probobly end up going alone. I was talking to Travis about it and apparently, my options are very limited. Trav said he'd be okay with Issac, Shorty and Conor....yup. That was pretty much it. I'm going to keep who I'm going with a secret and hope neither of them find out haha :) (Although, I have a feeling they BOTH will.....)

So, Travis is leaving for Bard this weekend. We had a nice goodbye. We hung out all day and went shopping, played frisbee and attempted to untangle over 100ft of string (with very little success) and he said goodbye. We had a nice hug and I said "So I suppose you won't have any time to talk to me while you're away, you'll be so busy with college!" (He had told me his whole schedule, barely has any time even for sleeping and eating) and he said "I'll make time for you." and he gave me a smile before I turned to leave. I saw him the next morning as well, before I left because he had to give me back my wallet (I hope he finds my lost book as well) and he gave me another big goodbye hug and told me to have fun at my dads. I really like our relationship now. We're really close friends. I'm really happy about that.

I suppose there are so many other things I could write about in this entry but... maybe I'll leave them out. No need to be too long. I'm simply thinking about things and how they're changed and all that's happened since my first entry. It's crazy to think about it all. Well, I suppose my final words should be meaningfull, so I guess I'll quote somebody...

"Until they become concious they will never rebel...

and until after they have rebelled they cannot become concious."

"Oh foolish child, don't you know,

the broken heart will never mend and true loves story never ends."

"Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands."

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e. e. cummings

So, currently on my mind is Shorty. He is an odd one, but I guess that's why we're such good friends. We've gotten to the point where he knows me well enough that he can tell when I'm lying, when somethings wrong, all of that. His words (paraphrased of course) were something along the lines of...

"Because we've all kind of got rooms, and when we talk like this it's kind of like you let me into your room when you shut everyone else out."

And it kind of got me thinking, I guess I really do share a lot with him. It's interesting. Him and I have really become good friends, I guess, I do let him into my room.

And then today, when i was talking to him, he felt the need to get into this detail. Heres the conversation (pretty much)

"Aw now I feel special" (Me)
"You should always. I don't get it." (Shorty)
"?" (Me)
"Do you think you're sexy? Honestly?" (Shorty)
"No." (Me)
"Why not?"(Shorty)
"I dunno. I just don't." (Me)
"See, that's weird. 'Cause a lot of people do, including myself. You are. Now get it, and use it." (Shorty)
"Haha"(Me)
"It's not funny"(Shorty)
"Thanks Shorty." (Me)
"Don't worry about it." (Shorty)

And then we just went on to how I told him about my conversation with my sister, and how she said almost the same thing, except she said beautiful. She, also, said that she didn't know why I didn't see it. I duno, I guess I'm just weird like that. But Shorty's always got compliments for me. He's sweet.

So, another thing on my mind is that Aaron's been a tad m.i.a. the last few days. Haven't really gotten the chance to talk to him. I guess it's just beause he's busy though. I mean, it's not like he's doing nothing over there. Hopefully I'll get a chance to talk to him tomorrow. And I won't be in a bad mood either. I'll make sure of it.

So I've been watching this show, Death Note, on Youtube. It's pretty good, I like it so far. I'm up to episode 10 right now. I'm gonna keep watching until they don't have any more online. They may still have it on t.v. I can always check tomorrow, since I don't even have drivers-ed and it's supposed to be rainy. I could always record it. Who knows, I found out they started up Scare Tactics again. That was a funny show.

So, Travis comes home in a week. And Shorty comes home on the 8th. So, I should be very busy once they both get back. Apparently Breaking Dawn gets shipped ot me on the 4th, so I'll spend a day reading that. Maybe I'll re-read the other three books before I get the new one, just to make sure I have everything down pat that's happened and is going on (that's my story and I'm sticking to it.) And then once I read those, I'll read Breaking Dawn, and then I can read The Host. I still need to finish 1984. Maybe I should get on top of that.

Anyways, I'll be busy hanging out with Travis and Shorty once they get back. So, basically no downtime for a while. Travis leaves after a week I think he said, so, then I'll just have to hang out with Shorty. I don't mind that. I have fun when I hang out with him. Two of my good friends, I'm sure we'll find something to do. Hopefully it stops raining like a monsoons coming soon. I still have to do that photo shoot thing with Stacia and I would like to be able to leave my house without having to worry that I won't be able to get home.

Anyways, it's about 2:21 in the morning now. I think I should try to get some sleep. I just ate half a thing of peanutbutter fudge, it was absolutely delicious.

"Each morning you choose to move forward, or to simply give up."

"And Hansel said to Gretel, Let us drop these bread crumbs
so that together we can find our way home

because losing our way would be the most cruel of things."

I know I haven't written on this in a while, I guess I have been avoiding my thoughts. Or atleast, trying to. Maybe it's time to try to think for once.

So, here I am, at my dads house, with two peanutbutter & jelly sandwhiches in front of me. I keep eating food. Probobly should stop at some point. I almost got some earlier, but my dad made a comment "you just had dinner. you're hungry already?" I was like "nope. just wondering if we had stuff incase i got hungry later..." and then I went back upstairs. Stupid Aaron had to mention that when I eat alot it means somethings bothering me. Maybe they forgot.

So, I have my ipod on. Nobody's online. I just woke up my dad, he fell asleep on the couch an I thought I'd get him up so he didn't end up sleeping down here. He's always falling asleep down here. I can't decide what kind of music I want to listen to. Maybe I'll find something.

So, I went with my dad to my grandmothers bakery today to get steak and chicken. (It's cheaper and better that way apparently.) And my dad, my grandmother, aun and I were all sitting outside and they all kept commenting on how they couldn't believe how old I was getting. My grandmother kept saying I was growing up really fast. And my grandmother goes "So, have a boyfriend?" They always happen to ask me that when I see them. I said no, and my dad goes "Well, sort of." I gave him this confused look, although I knew the answer he was going to give. "Aaron." he said. I go "No. We're not even sort of dating. He's in Iraq." and Erin goes "Good. You should definitely be dating him." And I laughed and she goes "No. Im serious. Perfect boyfriend for you, right there." Hah. I love my family.

I think I may be screwing things up even more then they already were. I've been kinda down the past few days, and for some reason I've been taking it out on Aaron. I don't mean to, I just happen to. My thoughts have kind of been dwelling on him lately. Some good, some bad. I try to avoid the bad ones and focus on the good, but it doesn't always work. But today when i got to the house, and I went up into my room I started getting flooded with thoughts of him. Cause the last time I was here was when he was here. I started thinking of the good times we had while he was home. How happy I was when I was with him, and all that. And then I remembered how I had acted the past couple days, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to talk to me. I probobly didn't help his mood either, he had gotten into a fight with Sean, or I think it was a fight. Atleast, he wasn't happy with Sean for whatever reason.

Things would be so much easier if he was home. I miss the closeness of having somebody here. I was talking to Shorty about that the other day. Hah, he does always know how to get on my nerves. Its like back when he liked me, he refused to say it. He got more enjoyment of trying to get me to say it. He tends to do that. Him and I are pretty good friends. It's gotten to the point where he knows me too well haha. He knows when I'm lying, when theres something wrong (and I'm not admitting it) and he usually can get me to talk to him about it easily. He listens to me ramble on about whatever's troubling me. Once he comes back on the 2nd I told him we are hanging out. I haven't gotten to see him in forever cause he left.

My mom has been acting weird. She keeps asking me when Travis is coming home. I keep telling her that I'm not sure, yet she asks everytime we have a conversation. I talked to Aaron about it, he said that he thinks she is either taking a liking to him or she sees that I haven't exactly been miss sunshine and I'm happier when he's around. I thought it was the first one, I didn't think I was happier when Travis was home. I mean, I know I'm happier, because he's one of my good friends and I enjoy hanging out with him, but I didn't think I acted differently. I asked both Aaron and Shorty, both said the same thing. Although, Shorty said another comment after that made me laugh, but that's not important. He was just being silly. Maybe I'll have to start paying closer attention to myself when he's around.

I need a change. I need to go out and have some fun before the summer's over. I've got a month left, I don't want to sit at home doing nothing because Aaron and Travis aren't home. If that's how my social life works then I'm going to be extremely bored. Forever. I'll hang out with Shorty, I was going to hang out with Conor but apparently he's busy with work. Maybe I'll hang out with Kara. Or Alicia. I'm supposed to be having Alicia, Stacia, and Kara over one of these sunny days so Stacia can take some cool photos. That should be fun, my mom even said they could all spend the night. I barely ever have anyone sleep over.

I have a lot of other thoughts. But they're those thoughts you can't really put into fluent sentances. Just random thoughts. OH I had a dream last night. It was kind of odd... I was at the middle school, or it was remeniscent of it, with a couple changes. I was with some guy, I have no idea who he was, but in my dream he was a friend of aarons, another marine and he was telling me something I can't remember. Aaron had come back from Iraq, I can't remember why, but he decided he didn't want to see me anymore. He came up to me specifically to tell me he came home and that he wasn't going to see me anymore past that point. And he drove off with this guy and left me there, and it was raining and dark. And I was just kind of wandering around alone cause I didn't know where to go. I woke up and it was kind of a disturbing dream. There were a couple more details to it, but they're not really important.

I'm glad I'm at my dads tonight. I always have good dreams here, it's odd. I can't remember the last time I had a nightmare here. They're usually happy, odd, or I just simply can't remember having a dream.

I was thinking about changes the other day. I asked Aaron if I'd changed, he said I did. He didn't give me any details though. Which was bothersome, but I mean he had to go, it wasn't his fault. He said I changed physically, but I wanted to know the details of it. I wanted to know the bad ways that I'd changed and the good ways. I was thinking about how other people have changed. It's crazy.

For you, a thousand times over.

"Even the bluest of skies have seemed gray

The whitest clouds have seemed gloomy

Rain clouds seem more dreary..."

- Looking At Life Though Tinted Lenses

So Trav just left. I had a good day overall. I'd say.

I woke up early to get to school at 8 so I could go driving. I did relatively well. After I drove Jess and I were in the back seat and we were trying to talk to this kid, Issac, who drives with us. He's a senior but he's always really quiet. We got him to talk finally, I told him I wanted to hear what his story was, he just gave me this odd look. Oh well, I'm used to it by now hah. Class wasn't quite as bad as usual. I didn't daydream, I forced myself to pay attention, although I still can't recall what we did in class.

After class I went home and packed a bag and did laundry then I went to Travs for a bit to hang out before frisbee. Frisbee was majorly intense today. I think I played really well. They kept making me block Shane which was absolutely hilarious because he's like twice my height and I was still blocking him really well. Nobody would throw the disc to him and everytime I had to block him he'd switch off from me or swear. Later, after he switched teams he said "You blocking Franklin was a bad idea, much like with you blocking me it just doesnt work out well." and then Trav said "Um, I believe she did a fantastic job blocking you. You didn't really ever get the disc." Everybody was just like "Wow Shane, you're being blocked intensly by a girl who's only 5 feet tall." He was really aggitated.

We played for 3 hours straight. My legs are in so much pain, even still. We didn't get done till like 8:40. Then Trav and I walked downtown and got Esperontos and then we went and collapsed in the park. We finally got up because it was too buggy. We were having issues walking and seeing cause we were just so dehydrated and tired. We got icecream and Trav came back to my house and we watched Kite Runner and had milkshakes.

The movie was really good. I loved it. There were a couple really emotional moments that kind of got to me. Like the quote, "For you, a thousand times over." I think I may read the book. I wanted to before but I just never got around to it.

I brought up Aaron to Trav at one point. I told him how I was worrying about him. And how he said he should be gone by Sunday. I even told him that I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. he said "Be sad?" I said "Actually I'd probobly be intensly depressed." We kind of strayed off that and changed the subject after we talked about him for a little longer.

I really love the point that Trav and my relationship has gotten to. We're really really good friends. Like, purely good friends. I love hanging out with him and I can trust him with a lot. I'm glad we're such good friends.

I have a lot on my mind lately. I've been forcing myself to concentrate on things and distracting myself. But, i still realize that there's something Aarons not telling me. I wish he would. This distance is going to make it even harder, we can't afford to be distant like this.

My thoughts are all jumped and a mess. I can't concentrate right now on writing even. Especially when my legs hurt. I'm going to go pass out in my bed. Im so happy i dont have to wake up and drive tomorrow, I get to sleep a little longer.

"Everything that grows holds in perfection but a little moment."

"Take him and cut him out in little stars,

And he will make the face of heaven so fine

That all the world will be in love with night."

- Romeo and Juliet

I worry about him a lot. He's been doing a lot of drinking, and shoving his thoughts aside won't do him any good. I hope he doesn't supsect that my off-ness is related to him leaving. I told him it was because I was sick, which, it partly is... it's starting to come back, I do hate when that happens. I've gone from the usual 9 pills a day to 12. I wish I could fix myself. It hurts to much when it comes back. It makes me cry a lot from the pain. I was talking to my mom about it today, and she didn't understand that. I think I caught her off gaurd when I said "No mom, I know it's coming back because I'm in so much pain sometimes I want to cry." I feel so sick and just horrible that I don't even want to do anything. I usually feel better after a while, a couple hours, but the other day I didnt. I couldn't even bring myself to go to Trav's. I've done a pretty good job at keeping this a secret... I don't need anybody worrying about me. It's not like its fatal or anything (atleast I dont believe it is...) It just.... hurts. So much.... okay, enough thinking about that. I don't like remembering the pain.

I tried to write down my thoughts and feelings earlier on paper. It didn't work. They all seemed so small and insignificant compared to how I'm really feeling. I never can seem to sum up exactly how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. I felt sick today in class so I put my head on my arms and tried to watch the movies. It was all for nothing. My mind wandered off, I can't even remember the movies. My mind wandered to Aaron. Only of Aaron. I almost started crying in class but I didn't. Although, before class I was sitting with Alicia and we were talking about how her and Jed just broke up and I said "...I haven't been doing so good lately." "What's wrong?" "I miss him. He left and he's leaving for Iraq soon... I really need a hug." and she hugged me and I wanted to cry and let it all out, but there were too many people watching so I held it in. But, it was nice... letting someone else know that I was hurting. Someone other than Sean.

I think I've told Sean a lot of things I've never told anybody else. Even Aaron. I mean, not so much I haven't told Aaron, but, I never told him. He might know, Sean says he thinks he does. I don't know exactly why but I find it easy to share how I'm feeling with Sean. I trust him. We talked about how I felt when Aaron and I first broke up. We talked about how Aaron had told me about the marrige thing. And how Sean was upset when Aaron told him about the sex thing... And I told him how I feel now. How I don't want to lose him. It felt good to get it all off my chest for once. I can't tell Aaron those things. Esentially, they're all the times that Aaron had hurt me... which, I know he wouldn't be happy if he knew. Sean said he was able to see how much pain I was in when we broke up the first time, he said he assumed Aaron noticed because he barely knew me then.

Today Aaron told me he'll be gone by Sunday. If I hadn't been sitting downstairs with my mom I think I would have started crying uncontrollably. I can't believe it's that soon. It's kind of like when he came home I was in this bubble protecting me from reality. It seemed like we had so much time, and then suddenly he had to leave, and my bubble popped. And then, I didn't think he would have to leave so soon after he got back. I don't know how long I expected him to be there for... but... not this little time. Last night I wanted to call him, or text him. Just, talk with him. I always do, I will never tell him this (although I told Sean). I always like to talk to Aaron before I go to sleep because then he's the last thing I hear before I go to sleep. He's the last thing on my mind before I slip away. But the last thing he said to me basically was "I don't want to be a downer so I'm gonna let you go" He just... hasn't seemed like he loves me anymore.

I think he's doing it because of his defence mechanism. He told me he missed me... but then said it didn't matter because we had seven more months ahead of us. I don't care. I'd rather him tell me how he feels, tell me whats on his mind instead of letting me sit here and bring up doubts and all that nonsense I'm trying to work through and not bring up because I needed to work on it. I atleast have one thing to remind me. His one text message I saved. I deleted the rest of them because I couldn't look at them anymore. They caused me to cry. Although, I saved them in my computer... just incase I wanted to see them again... I like the one I have, although, I'd love to have more before he lost his phone. it says "Good morning beautiful I woke up this morning to watch the sunrise and remembered your smile."

He seems to have lost a lot of that charm. His romanticism. It makes me not believe him when he says he's fine. He says that he thinks he'll never be happy, I disagree. He deserves to be happy and one day all of his dreams will come true, everything he wants will be his. He'll be happy one day.

And then, suddenly, Romeo was gone...

I coming to the realization that I can't keep myself busy forever.
I can't avoid the pain forever.

It's a hard realization to come to when that's your focus. Keeping busy. As busy as possible, never giving thoughts downtime to dwell on the fact that he's gone. He's really gone.

While he was home it was hard to come back to reality and remember he was leaving for seven months... that he won't even have a phone. He won't be safe. He's always saying he'll come back, but what if he doesn't? What if he leaves for Iraq, and doesn't come back? I don't think I'll be able to handle it.

If he doesn't come back, I'll have lost a part of me. A major part of me.
A piece of my heart.
A piece of my soul.
I'll have lost my future, my love. I don't want to lose him. I can't lose him. If he dissapears I may lose myself. I don't think I could handle it. Avoiding thoughts and keeping busy wouldn't be able to help me then. It's already a shitty plan to begin with. Right now he's off drinking, much like Sean.

Reality is starting to hit me.

But... if I lose him, if I'm never able to see him again... I'll die inside. I'll probobly end up like a zombie, numb inside. I guess that's what it's like when you lose a piece of your soul. When you die inside. That's a bit like I felt when we broke up the second time. I couldn't handle it.
He could tell.

But if he's not here... If I never get to see his face again, be with him again, hold him, kiss him, look into his eyes...

No. I don't even want to think about that anymore. I've already gotten myself crying. I'm glad he doesn't read this anymore. I don't want him to know that I'm hurting so much. I don't want him to know about these few thoughts I will refuse to share with him. He has no need to know that I feel empty inside already, that I'm not handling this well in my off time. I need to pretend to him that everything is fine. That I'm living my life and not letting this drag me back, I'm sure that's not what he wants.

He told me, and keeps telling me, that everythings going to be okay. That I shouldn't worry or miss him too much. But I guess he doesn't realize how much I truly love him, how when he left he took my heart as well. I have eyes for nobody else.

Does that make me stupid?

Am I stupid for saying that he's my love and I am able to say he holds my heart and nobody else can? That I ache when he's away? Yesterday, Kara asked me a question. She asked me how I do it, cause shes having trouble holding up this thing with Ryan after not being able to see or talk to him for like 3 days, when they have to do it for 3 weeks. Here's what I said:

TeensOnDramamine : How do you do it?
EverythingIronic : I love him. To me, that's enough to keep me going. There are times when I'm on the line, Im not going to lie to you. When I think about how I must be foolish and that it could never work, and that all hope is lost.
EverythingIronic : And then he does things like show up at my front door to say goodbye before he leaves because we ended on a bad note. And I just remember why I love him.
EverythingIronic : Why it's worth it all.
EverythingIronic : Without obstacles it wouldn't be love. Because there would be nothing to make you fight for it, nothing to make it mean anything.
EverythingIronic : if you're not willing to fight for something, obviously it doesn't mean a whole lot to you.
EverythingIronic : We may not be in a relationship right now, but, my heart still belongs to him.
EverythingIronic : Hah, Im quite a hopeless romantic Kara. I'm actually very easily won over, you just need to know how to do it. Most guys don't.

I guess I am quite silly sometimes. I do let myself get carried away with my heart. Oh well. I don't mind. That was how I feel, it was what I wanted to say. It's my answer.

"And just when Juliet was about to give up all hope on love, Romeo appeared outside her window."

He left today. I've been avoiding the thoughts, avoiding the feelings that are going to hit me as soon as I let them. I'm not sure how much longer I can avoid them... I think I've hit the limit. I miss him already. These seven months with him away are going to be hard, especially since I won't get to talk to him on the phone... at all. Probobly not a whole lot online either. But, I'm going to do my best. I'm going to e-mail him as often as I can. And I already have an idea for a surprise package I'm going to see if I can send him (I hope I can.)

My dreams have gotten better. Happier. Well, partially. Last night one part of it wasn't fun. But it got better. I'm happy they're getting better. I'm losing my fear of going to sleep and dreaming. He's in my dreams, but they're not nightmares anymore. Although, now, even thought he's in my dreams, it just makes it more evident that when I wake up, he isn't here anymore. He's miles away.

I found a song today that I liked. Here are some of the lyrics

"All my bags are packed I'm ready to go

I'm standing here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say good-bye

But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn'

The taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn

Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down

So many times I've played around

I tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go I'll think og you

Every song I sing I sing for you

When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring"

"So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you

One more time let me kiss you

And close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come

When I don't have to leave alone

About the times that I won't have to say"

I like it. But, anyways, I've heard a lot of songs that I really like lately. But, I think I'm going to head off to sleep. I'll just make sure my phone goes off and wakes me up when Aaron texts me to tell me his flight landed safely, I hope he remembers.